Vying with the Uxbridge Road for the title of London's centre of crap takeaways names is Brockley Rise in south east London. Let's go down the street in descending street number - which just so happens to be ascending order of absurdity. At number 55, it's Mega Bites:
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The only way this could be more outdated is if it was "Rad" instead of "Mega". I think. One of them is 1991, the other is 1992. I forget. Anyhoo, just three doors down and presumably stealing all the trade is MMM... The Taste Fried Chicken. No, really:
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Gonna put this out there: this place probably doesn't meet expectations for a lot of people who go in there. Even if it does sell a Big Mac style burger for 99p.
But at least you can see what the owner was intending. There's just no accounting for its other near rival:
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I - I don't know.
And have you seen the fifth Harry Potter movie? That door looks like the one in the Ministry of Magic. Some poor, unwitting sarf Londoner has walked through there hoping for some spicy wings and got the kiss of death from a dementor for his troubles.
IMMATURE BONUS SHOT:
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We're not going to stoop to your level. But in what country is that a phone number?
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Dude, you have missed on a great pun, which is right up your walley - Bertie Rooster is a kind of a word play on Bertie Wooster of Jeeves & Wooster BBC series. The series are ingenious (even with your ultra liberal approach). Watch them - you will like it.
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