Frial Valencia is the KFC of Bolivia

There's so many cliches going on here it's insane. Dusty, worn down shop that Butch Cassisdy and the Sundance Kid probably holed up in at some point, CHICKENS BOXING, no door. I'm surprised they're not actually smoking a cigar whilst punching communists in the face too. MUST EAT HERE.

Coq'hot may have trouble with its branding come international expansion time

Might need a name change. Quite liking the mascots though, which include anthropomorphic chicken with beer belly, chicken in bikini, and largely naked bondage chicken with a chain mail mask on his face.

Man, KFC in Eindhoven is in a cathedral

Either that or Dutch Google Maps is just wrong. We can't Street View it to find out owing to those silly little European town roads, although even if we could we probably wouldn't bother.

Here's a review of this Gothic branch of the Colonel's finest:

"‪Kentucky Fried Chicken is the leader in fastfood in my opinion, it's meals are way better than McDonalds, which has bad quality of burgers. It's a bit more expensive, but; what you pay is what you get, I prefere the 'Zinger Box'‬‎

'Insightful.'

Pasta Brown, Covent Garden

Food, the colour it's not really supposed to be.

Ronald McDonald in Japan just got sexy

Like Hooch in Scrubs, the Japanese are crazy. I've always though Ronald McDonald was an ever so creepy character, popping up out of nowhere, luring kids away from their loving homes with the offer of a happy meal.

But seriously, these two ads from Japan from a couple of years back are pretty out there. Because what's the first thing you think of when you think of Ronald, or McD's itself? That's right: SEXY

Damn! I'd put my meat in her roll. She supersizes my meal. Like their coffee, she comes with a label saying 'Warning contents may be hot'. *ahem*

And if you thought that was bad, check this one out:

Oh My God! When did Ronald get so EMO!?! Has he been sitting alone in his room listening to My Chemical Romance, crying his eyes out? Is the Grimace contemplating slitting his wrists? I swear emo hippies like this don't even eat in McD's. They just protest against it outside. Whilst drinking organically sourced vegan lattes. Fix up, look sharp, Ronald.

Kentucky really doesn't have very many fried chicken shops

Well known fact: Kentucky Fried Chicken is one of the world's biggest fast food chains (with 24,000 employees worldwide).

Not so well known fact: Kentucky isn't quite the home of fried chicken it purports to be.

Here's Frankfort, the state capital of Kentucky, US of A:

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As you can see, it appears to have just two chicken shops. First is the promising Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken:

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It is in fact a Burger King.

Then there's a Kentucky Fried Chicken. You'd have thought it'd be the flagship branch, the beating heart and soul of the franchise, right? Nope, it's actually an abandoned petrol station:

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And that's it. That, or Google Maps isn't to be totally relied upon, but are you seriously questioning its reliability? Ayo Google Maps is the best, true dat.

Strangely, the first KFC ever opened was in Utah. Someone even took a photo of a piece of wall that proves it.

Toast Club's mascot needs a diet, shave, and blood pressure check-up

We've seen curious takeaway shop mascots in the past. There was gay chicken, Arab chicken, and the Iraqi Colonel Sanders who appeared to have been interred in Abu Ghraib at some point. None of them were particularly enticing, but they definitely make me hungrier than this chap emblazoned on the sign of a kebab shop on the Greek island of Santorini.
He looks like the dude off the Pringles tubes after bingeing on the BBQ flavour for two decades and only trimming his 'tache when drunk. And what's with the name Toast Club anyway? It sounds like a takeaway run by a gang of Enid Blyton-esque children and their faithful hound (Probably called Rex or Elizabeth or something), except here it's probably the pooch being served up in a pita.

Belgians like their fast food to urinate on them

First, a bit of culture: Are you aware the Manneken Pis? It's a fountain/statue in Brussels of a small boy having a piddle into a pool.From Wikipedia: "Manneken Pis (help·info) (Dutch for little man urinating), also known in French as the petit Julien, is a famous Brussels landmark. It is a small bronze fountain sculpture depicting a naked little boy urinating into the fountain's basin.

The famous statue is located at the junction of Rue de l'Étuve/Stoofstraat and Rue du Chêne/Eikstraat. To find it, one takes the left lane next to the Brussels Town Hall from the famous Grand Place and walks a few hundred meters to arrive at the spot. The statue will be on the left corner."

And then, just down the road is this sign:Apparently R Kelly loves this place.


Thanks to Sanjay for the spot.

FC Hottest Chicken ...in Town Restaurant & Take Away & Delivery, Amsterdam

Man, following their revolutionary McDonalds menu, the Dutch are on fire. Spotted in Amsterdam:You really do sometimes have to explore foreign cultures to find something special. They are letting the side down slightly with tarpaulin sheet, as opposed to a plastic neon fascia, but this one scores on so many levels. Overly cluttered sign. Dubious use of punctuation. Delusions of grandeur, calling themselves a 'restaurant'. And quite simply, the best chicken on a sign yet. It looks so happy, yet slightly retarded. Like a kid with Down's syndrome on a day trip to the zoo. And he's wearing a rainbow waistcoat! It's clearly painted on, so this isn't a fly by night operation as the temporary sign might suggest.

Thanks to Stef for the spot, and for bringing so much joy into my life.

Chicken: The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast

You know I how was saying that Germany had the best regional variation of any multi-nation fast food chain? Well, McDonalds in Holland is hitting back in style. Snapped in Amsterdam:In Holland McD's do a Chicken McMuffin. That's right: Chicken for Breakfast! My mind is blown. Literally blown. There are literally bits of brain all over the wall behind me. I've taken the red pill. This is how deep the rabbit hole goes, people.

Taco Bell time travel!

The fast food connoisseurs among you might wonder why Taco Bell never tried to expand over here in the US of K. If that is, like me, you should be doing something useful with your life but aren't.
Actually, it turns out, Taco Bell did. This photo was taken in Leicester Square back in 1989, when photography was all done on film, women weren't allowed to wear skirts above the ankle for fear of death by sharia law and traffic lights were apparently blue instead of green. It didn't last more than a few years though, but Wikipedia says Taco Bell is planing on coming back now that Joe Public knows what Mexican food is and we're all buying fast food because of the recession.

This is Wikipedia, mind. What, you think I'm going to bother following through references? Hells no. Oh, in case you were wondering what's there now:

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TGI Friday's, mofo!

Smack Kebab: French people have issues

Reader Tom struck gold this weekend during a presumably dirty weekend on the continent.
"Spotted this when I was over in Pau in France this weekend. Sadly it was never open, leading me to suspect they may be out of business (probably due to kebab addiction). I know they can be moreish but to treat them like smack is a little extreme. Let's just hope they weren't injecting."

Too right. Still, at least we know now what French farmers are doing in between complaining about not being handed out enough money from the government, and being handed out money from the government. Shooting doner meat into their veins.
HOLD THE PAGE! There's a postscript and another photo to rival Yorkshire Fried Chicken for geolocation verisimilitude.

"P.S. Have attached two pics. First one has a car driving into shot but I kinda like that. Looks like a Renault advert or something. A really shit Renault advert."

Yeah, so a Renault advert. That's Nicole in the car, papa is behind the shutters injecting a shish kebab between his toes.

The Golden Shower Restaurant just didn't think anything through

Because everybody loves water sports. Even on their food. Absolutely no idea what country this is in, but that can't be a phone number anywhere, surely.

Roast Broast sounds like Dr Seuss ate here

This errant tree obscures the view on Google Street View, but that doesn't change the fact that the name of this kebab and curry shop is ludicrous.

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What's a broast? It's not a word. It's like calling a shop kebab flebab. Or fish tish. This is worse than Thai Handwell - look closely and you'll even see the place sells Indain Sweets (sic).


UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
The shop next to Roast Broast rivals it for poor grammar. Tesca quite clearly has the illiterate-people-in-Acton-who-think-they're-in-a-supermarket market wrapped up.

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Leeds Chinese takeaways have awesome pop culture references

Maybe it's the lack of iodine in the water, maybe they've only just discovered VHS players, but whatever the cause, Leeds has the best named Chinese takeaways I've ever seen. Case in point number one: Jackie Chan's

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The interwebs says it's a takeaway, at least. It could just be some words on a wall, as the area doesn't look like it's progressed beyond a subsistence economy yet. Either way, a bit of unlicensed famous person endorsement always goes down well with us, especially when it's the star of Police Story.
Now, case in point number two: Jet Lee, which is supposedly open for business on Just-Eat.
Technically, spelt wrong but whatever. Liking this Chinese martial art star trend. Unfortunately, there's no Street View for this one as it appears to have undergone a name change. To what though? Sammo Hung? Michelle Yeoh? Chuck Norris? Nope:

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Double Dragon!
Almost makes up for the crap weather and people trying to talk to you on the train all the time, because they're just so friendly up there.

What on earth is this giant potato saying?

This talking root vegetable is advertising Lotteria, a Japanese burger chain. I'm not sure what it's blathering on about, but it makes a better mascot than the little Mongolian hotpot sheep. Suggested translations:

"I know what you think I look like. I taste like it too."

"Have you ever seen a potato as spherical as me?"

"You want some cancer with your fries? I'll give it to you. Yeah I said it."

"I'ma cut you up, son."

You'll no doubt be wondering how it's possible to cook a potato as big as a field. Here's an artist's rendition:
GM food actually stands for "Godzilla made".

Thai Handwell shut down while owner away at Spelling Bee contest

Another due diligence FAIL in the catering business. This here takeaway is actually in Hanwell, west London. No one noticed the spelling difference before they had that 3D sign made to order.

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Unsurprisingly, Thai Handwell is no longer in business. The *highly* literate locals boycotted it, as presumably they did the joint opposite, New York Pizza Pres.

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Never mind why Henry the hoover is painted on the wall, what the hell is a Pres? Can you eat it?

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
This side of the street is amazing. Not only is there a crap takeaway, there's a kid lurking in an alley, a lopsided sign post and no fewer than FOUR different colours of Henry hoovers in the window.

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All that suction!