What on earth is this giant potato saying?

This talking root vegetable is advertising Lotteria, a Japanese burger chain. I'm not sure what it's blathering on about, but it makes a better mascot than the little Mongolian hotpot sheep. Suggested translations:

"I know what you think I look like. I taste like it too."

"Have you ever seen a potato as spherical as me?"

"You want some cancer with your fries? I'll give it to you. Yeah I said it."

"I'ma cut you up, son."

You'll no doubt be wondering how it's possible to cook a potato as big as a field. Here's an artist's rendition:
GM food actually stands for "Godzilla made".