Robocop needs fried chicken

Prime Directives:

1: Serve the public trust
2: Protect the innocent
3: Uphold the law
4: Obtain Fried Chicken by any means necessary

Even if that means climbing out of the TV Ringu-style, and stealing a fridge.

And if you thought that was Robocop's worse example of whoring himself out to advertisers, check out this cup noddle commercial featuring, well, a whole squad of Robocops being trained to, er, eat cup noddles, at the beach.


U-Need-Cafe, East Acton, London

Not that badly I don't. Incidentally, this is the first food shop that any lag newly released from a stay at Wormwod Scrubs at her Madge's pleasure will come to. Bit depressing really, and we can see why that bird fetishist in The Shawshank Redemption killed himself now.


Olympic Sandwich Bar is neither topical nor local

It's still a good three years until the Olympics, so we can't help but feel that this shack in south London is blowing its marketing load a bit too early here. Especially since it's nowhere near Stratford.


Jerk City is hopefully referring to the food, not the patrons

Either this shop in Soho serves jerk chicken, or the customers are just really annoying and throw chips all the time.


Steve offers package holidays to his kebab shop

Steve of Waterloo is the next Alan Sugar in the making. He's got a brand new business model on lock: instead of just shepherding in drunken customers to eat your sheep fat, why not get them to then pass out in your abode and CHARGE FOR IT?

Steve, we salute you.


Meat In A Roll is out intellectualised by a chicken shop

Oh dear. Remember Bertie Rooster Fried Chicken? I never thought I'd say this, but the pun on that there shack went sailing over my head.

We just got this comment from Anonymous:

"Dude, you have missed on a great pun, which is right up your alley - Bertie Rooster is a kind of a word play on Bertie Wooster of Jeeves & Wooster BBC series. The series are ingenious (even with your ultra liberal approach). Watch them - you will like it."

Not sure about the ultra liberal thing (see Ken Livingstone Coffe Shop) but we'll take it as a complement, and it's hands up time here. The owner of Bertie Rooster is smarter than us.

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Payless Food & Wine rides roughshod over English language, general economic principles of capitalism

This here newsagent in Bermondsey, London is guilty of several things. I'm pretty sure "payless" isn't a word, and if it does mean "free" as it seems like it should, what the hell is it doing charging for bottles of milk? That's false advertising that is. Yeah.


Fishing World Of Kent conjures many images, none of them ambitious ones

I've no idea if it sells cod and chips or cans of worms, but either way, "Of Kent" isn't a suffix that needed to be added here. Still sounds more exciting than Fireplace World, mind.


Headcorn Charcoal Grill may be the first kebab shop that's also a listed building

Look! It's old and stuff. Spotted out in the sticks in Kent. I went on a trip to Stratford Upon Avon once, and it looks exactly like William Shakespeare's birthplace:

Just take my word for it that the building next to it did anyway.